Malternatives: Tasting the Malty Beer Spectrum

And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man. –A. E. Housman

There are Porters and Stouts; there are Browns.
(And these beer styles are rightly renowned.)
Though I’ve tried quite a few,
I’ve sought differently brewed
Types of malty. Come taste what I’ve found.

And before it gets sultry outside,
while a vestige of coolness abides
In the evening, I give
You these Malternatives—
A selection quite diversified.

1.
Old Peculier’s a legend, they say,
And no beer I’ve tried tastes quite this way:
With a barley malt sweetness,
And roasty uniqueness,
And traces of fruit to convey.

2.
If you love roastiness in your stout,
Keep this Old Engine Oil nearabout.
It’s a sipper, so savor
The bittersweet flavor
As smoky notes start to come out.

3.
The Donker Quadrupel is boozy,
With roasty-sweet flavors—a doozy
For late afternoon,
Or for under the moon:
Though the pint-plus might make you wee woozy.

4.
To counteract that, try this Non-
Alcoholic dark brew before long.
It’s a Black IPA
And its maltiness stays
In the taste as the hops hit your tongue.

5.
Can a Stout beer be white? Let’s find out
What Albino Rhino is about.
It’s quite sweet, with vanilla,
White chocolate, and java—
A liquid dessert in your mouth.

Tasting Notes:

Old Peculier. Theakston Ltd., Masham, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom. 5.6% ABV.
Pours a nearly opaque, dark brown with ruby tones and a beige, creamy head. Buttressed by a smooth, barley sweetness with subtle stone-fruitiness, this beer has some coffee notes and finishes with a little bitterness to balance it out.

Old Engine Oil Craft Stout. Harviestoun Brewery, Alva, Scotland. 6% ABV
Pours blackish brown with a small-bubbled, tan head and a roasty nose. You’ll first taste the rich roastiness, joined by chocolatey notes as the beer hits your mid- tongue. At the back of your mouth, the smoky comes out for a bitter-roasty finish. Sip it slowly for full effects.

Donker Quadrupel Ale. KasteelBrouwerij-Vanhonsebrouck, Emelgem, Belgium. 11% ABV.
Pours an opaque dark brown with a finely-bubbled, beige head and a roasty-sweet, Belgiany aroma. This beer’s mouthfeel is velvety rich, and you’ll taste its toffee-notes in the malt’s graceful roastiness. Cellarable.

Black IPA Limited Edition. Sober Carpenter, Montréal, Quebec, Canada.  > 0.5% ABV
Pours an opaque black-brown with a frothy-creamy, slightly sweet head and malty aroma. This NA beer skates over the front of your tongue and engages the back with a refreshing, light hoppiness. There’s just a hint of roastiness in the malts. Pairs well with cheddar cheese.

Albino Rhino White Stout with Cacao Nibs, Vanilla, and Coffee. Prairie Artisan Ales, McAlester, OK. 6% ABV.
Pours a translucent pale amber with a white head and vanilla aroma. This beer has a honeyish mouthfeel that’s a tad heavier than standard stouts. There are faint coffee notes, but the vanilla and white chocolate flavors stand out as the beer finishes toward the front of your tongue.

MARSHA BRYANT writes about literature, culture, and craft beer. Her recent essays appear in The Bloomsbury Handbook to Sylvia Plath, the online journal Humanities, and the textbook Impact of Materials on Society. Marsha teaches at the University of Florida. Her Untappd handle is LimerickLady.